Originally Posted by LoveHopeHappiness
She has decided the best thing for her would be to have a partner who she and I could both know well, trust, respect, care about, and share our lives with. She has offered me the same freedom out of her idea of fairness and to allow equal ground for us both as a gift of love.
Where do we find others like us? How do we protect our privacy and dignity and protect the privacy and dignity of possible partners in a society that thinks everything is their business?
Life has always been better for us both when that added special someone was there with us.
A few thoughts. To protect your privacy, you probably would want partners who share the same needs for privacy/being out, that you do. It sounds like somebody who is very out about being open and wants to shout that they love you to the neighbors, Facebook friends, restaurant patrons etc, would be a poor match for you?
As for dignity...well I don't really understand that, since I don't think it's undignified to have other partners, but there are a number of good threads on here about "coming out" which have suggestions on how to answer people if they butt their nose into your business and you want to express (in a "dignified way") that nothing is going on, or nothing wrong is happening, etc. Maybe I don't understand what you mean by dignity.
I am guessing you are saying above that you and your wife want live in partners? I am not quite clear on if you are saying you're looking on sharing a partner, or each having your own. I want to say while it's ideal for me to have partners be great friends with my husband, and it sounds like that is what you have come to decide would be best, personally I'd hate to rule out dating people who don't fit that mold because if I had made that a hard goal for forming relationships. I'd miss out on some awesome people like my current boyfriend.
If you are wanting live-in partners, I'd have more to say but I figure I'll wait to find out if that is what you two want.