You sound a lot like me too. I am completely fulfilled with the partners I have BECAUSE they are different. I don't see that I need to find everything in just one when I can find it in all of them.
My husband communicates but we often miss each others point and message entirely. He often finds certain things important whereas I don't. He is an introvert, moody and pessimistic quite often, goes to bed early and needs a lot of time alone and at home. I go out a lot, am optimistic, emotional but in a different way, stay up late, have tons of friends and thrive on them. But he is funny, a really good dad, creative, has similar values in life to me, gets behind the same causes, understands poly inside and out as we have lived it together for our whole relationship of 13 years.
My boyfriend understands me emotionally, is by my side for everything, contributes to the house like no one else has, is like a big kid that brings a full of life feeling to a room that matches mine (or prompts me to be similar) and is loved socially by all for his sense of humour and playful nature.
My girlfriend is my female rock. Without her I think I would go insane. She understands the stuff women go through and I am so grateful that she loves and accepts me as a woman where most women don't (I have a lot of male energy in my house and my years of being lesbian identified have made me different some how to the point where the women I usually met don't get me). She understands stuff that the men don't and she and all of them get along, work well together, care and support each other as I do them. It is a balance, but it took three year to get to that.
I like the work you are putting into figuring this stuff out sarahfina. I also do alone work before I approach really important issues. Transparency and honest, open communication are important but its equally important to check how I say things and what I think and feel before opening my mouth and cause someone unnecessary pain.
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