WOW, you sound so much like me. Those are all things I went through and dealt with in my own marriage. Our problem was I didn't realize it nor did he and we didn't try to fix it until it was to late. By the time we realized it the damage was done and our marriage couldn't take anymore. We had become the epitome of dysfunctional and it was doing more harm than good to stay in the marriage.
I had to put in a lot of thought before I left my marriage. In the end it turned out to be the best thing for me. I have learned so much from my marriage and its ending. I learned things about myself I hadn't known before and I learned things about life and relationships in general.
I'm not saying you should do what I did. Only you and your husband can determine what is best for the both of you and your marriage.
~If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.~