Thread: Postmortem
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:02 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,121
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A while ago, I told a relatively new friend that I was attracted to him and would like to be a FWB. He's a busy guy with a new career and two very serious relationships. He seemed receptive but wanted to take things slowly. I'm totally fine with that - I get he needs to check in with his partners. A few months go by, we hang out not infrequently, along with one of his partners, who has also become a good friend of mine. But we never talk about the FWB thing again. I ask for a check in but because of our mutually loaded schedules, that doesn't happen. So I finally get a chance to ask him what's up. He's been waffling but basically his partners have given him a lukewarm go-ahead which he is hesitant to use. I expected the 'thanks but no thanks' after so much time had gone by. And given this guy's schedule, I get his partners' hesitation. (Their concerns are not personal - his partners know I'm no threat to either of them.)

But the whole 'if the timing was better', 'if you were different', 'if I was different', 'if we wanted the same things', 'if our ideas of relationship matched' thing is making me existentially bitchy. Yes, that's life and in a bit I will put my big girl panties on. Right now though, after Beloved, SW, and now this guy, I'm feel like it's all bad timing and not being quite right for someone right now. And this makes me both mad and sad.
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