Originally Posted by Icewraithonyx
Personally, I think your question deserves a more emotionally intelligent answer than "I just can't." (As I said, I'm not fond of double standards and that's how this looks.)
Wife has said that she'd expect to be uncomfortable if I ever did want to pursue a relationship but she'd try her hardest to be supportive.
I agree with Ice...your question does need/deserve a more emotional intelligent answer...I will attemt to do this...
First let me say that I agree with you when you said "But how can being poly or mono be hardwired into an individual, male or female, without accepting of it for others" I have even asked Kat that question. You see, Kat told me that I could have another woman because her (what I can only discribe as a lifestyle) poly lifestyle allows for that (must say that she wanted me to have feelings for them; which is not possible for me)...I can't stomach the idea of her loving another man (with or without feelings) because of my lifestyle (mono with benefits). Both are "hardwired" within us...just as homosexuality or bi-sexuality are lifestyles that I feel are hardwired. Emotionally, I was willing to forgo my lifestyle (mono with benefits) to show my love for Kat. Then, I found out about her lifestyle and my emotions on this has gone from went to thinking of beening submissive to my feelings to satisfy her lifestyle.
So my emotional answer...
I am a (what some consider) a possive tradional mono. I can't understand how people in this lifestyle could be in love (sexually intimid) with more than one (equally or differently) at the same time but I can't understand homosexuality either. There are some mono(s) who do understand this lifestyle (I call them poly enablers; another lifestyle in my opinion)...so I beleive, to each his own. Anyway, my feelings of "me only" is my lifestyle and other lifestyles are not emotionally fulfilling to me; some consider my feelings as me being selfish and unreasonably blind to my partners needs. If that is the case, I'll gladly be "that guy". But I feel that my lifestyle is mine and shouldn't be "downgraded" for the benefit of others.
Probably didn't answer your question but at least it is off my chest.