Originally Posted by nycindie
Besides, don't forget -- the OP has stated that her lover specifically wants to learn how to "unleash the animal inside" but doesn't know how to get started. So our suggestions are not about changing him, but are about finding ways for him to explore something he's interested in and willing to do, but just clueless about how to go about getting there. So, there's no reason to take these suggestions as trying to impose something on him.
I guess I felt compelled to put in a word for being vanilla. The premise of the thread, even the OP's boyfriend's reported interest in learning to be more . . . aggressive? is that there's something wrong
with preferring to be gentle.
That I have such a preference makes me, in your words, "boring." That I stand by those preferences, and tie some of them to matters of principle (i.e., no coercion, not even make-believe coercion, not ever) makes me "closed-minded."
I reject any such judgment, just as you would no doubt reject the judgment that there is something wrong