Think of one or two things you'd like to start off with incorporating into your sex life. For example, you might want him to pull your hair, or smack your ass. Start off with small things like that and let him know how much you enjoy it each time. It might not happen every time, but with positive reinforcement, eventually he'll get more comfortable with it and then you start asking for more, like if you want him to hold you down or something like that.
You can also buy some toys that will help. For example, if you like being restrained, get some handcuffs (get lightweight feather-lined ones which don't seem very intimidating), or soft rope, and ask him to tie you up. Without toys, you can just tell him what a turn-on it is for him to pin you down so you can't move, and keep having him practice not letting you get away.
I also think role-playing could be a lot of fun. Slave master/slave girl, teacher/schoolgirl, etc. You could wear a wig and slutty outfit and meet him at a bar, have him pick you up, and tell him you like it rough. Maybe if he feels like he's playing a part, it will be easier for him to come out and be more aggressive/assertive.
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
Last edited by nycindie; 01-16-2012 at 04:01 AM.