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Old 01-15-2012, 05:51 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awakeandready View Post
Redpepper - I need to address this first. I know I wrote a novel and you probably missed it. But please, give us a little credit. We're all educated, intelligent adults.

Prior to our quad R & I have been monogamous for 25+ years, T & S for 15+ years, plus we ALL were thoroughly tested for STIs, plus pregnancy isn't an issue for either couple although just for that off chance both women are using backup. Yes, we had the responsible discussion with them.

Of course pulling out isn't safe sex!!!! That was simply a request that I had made to him because I was uncomfortable with the idea. He pulls out with me because he LIKES to. That's the only reason. For now I had asked that he do so with S as well. That's all.
Thank you for clarifying. I didn't realize that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by awakeandready View Post
... (all he'll tell me is that hearing me with T that night was really hard for him and was especially so since things weren't coming together for him and S that night), R now feels the complete opposite and seems to see the relationship with T&S as a threat to our marriage.
It seems to me that he has suddenly realized that the sex is not just for sport and is for something more deep and connecting. That is common for people. Sex for people has different meanings and/or at different times. It sounds like his trigger is two fold; the aspect of you having sex with someone that you might just "love" and the aspect of him not getting laid and you did.
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