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Old 01-15-2012, 04:15 PM
scaredofmyheart scaredofmyheart is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Hi guys, thanks so much for the help. Great advice about the jealousy thing opalescent - I definitely need to work on that. If I can figure out my own insecurities more, maybe I can get through this better.

Hey new guy - I'm afraid no, my feelings were always there, and I tried really, really hard to let go, or move on from them, but I just couldn't.

It was kind of like trying to cut a part out of myself. And I wanted him to love and accept that part, except like you say, he's an alpha male - he wants me to be his.

And being an alpha female - I also want him to be mine!!!

So it's really hard. For me it was not so much about the sexual freedom, it was that I'm in love with her...and yes, she's started calling me and hanging up, because I emailed telling her that. So I think there is something left between us...

When my bf first told me that I could have sexual freedom, it was absolutely necessary to me. And that's hard, because I could have found someone else. I think, the thing is it can work both ways:

You can find out that what you have is so much better than what you think is out there. (which is what I discovered with the few guys I played around with while being with my man). Or you can use 'sexual freedom' as an excuse to look for someone else while being in a relationship. So enjoying the security while looking around. Which I also did, I'm really ashamed to say.

There is a chance she's genuinely poly, which would mean that if you say no, she's not going to let it go.

The only thing I can really say is that COMMUNICATION is the key. If my man had actually talked with me, and talked with me more and really let me tell him how I felt instead of running away, or trying to shut me up, or telling me he didn't want to hear about my feelings...

Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now. But it's so hard to hear, I know.

But if you know, I mean, really know how she feels, why she wants to do this, really come to a deep understanding, then maybe it will help you both. At the very least it will be a good way to know each other better. And to explore what the relationship you have truly is - and find more respect for each other.

Does she really know why she wants to do this? Do you know why?

I hope you guys figure it out. All the best to you!
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