"I was asking if their marriage ( bf,gf) blew up/ went south what would happen? Not yours...."
Your wording was ambiguous, dinged!
I would stay with my husband and see if I could work things out if possible. If my husband wants to leave me, than once we are more financially secure, he will.
"I'm little confused ....you treat all your partners equal and yet you want primary status from your husband. Explain how that's fair or reasonable."
I try to treat them equally. I fail at that. I'm still biased towards my husband.
I don't know if I want primary status. I just don't like secondary status.