Originally Posted by countrygirl
I would first like to thank all of you for your responses (and any others that might come). I will admit that when I first started reading them, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I wanted to defend myself, but instead I thought I would try something different. I pondered on each post all day, thinking about what each one of you have said and took it to heart.
I feel I should apologize first to my wife...I should have talked to her instead of blasting all of my feelings here for her to just happen up on (like I bitched about her doing to me). I did it partly out of anger and that was just the wrong thing to do.
I do not know that I can truly express my feelings for her and how deep they actually go. I never thought another person (except for my husband) would ever get the real me and accept me just as I am. No matter what rolls our way, we withstand it all. And no matter how moody I get, she stands there and takes it all, saying each time she understands why I do what I do.
I will also admit that some of my needs are not being met, but these are not something that I can express to anyone but my husband and wife.
Again, I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart...you gave me the brutal honesty I needed to re-evaluate this. I feel so much better now...
Thank you, beautiful, but it is ok. I understand why you did it. I understand how you feel about it. I cannot be nor am I mad or upset with you over any of it or how you feel. I know none of this really matters now, but I wanted you to know I understand.
I hope you know I would not have posted what I did here if we had not already discussed it. I didn't feel it was keeping a secret from you since we had discussed it and I knew you would see it. If I wanted to keep it secret I would not have posted it where you could find it. You knew how I was feeling. I wanted to work on that and I wanted you to see that I was working on it and know that I loved you both enough to try to work on it.
Ahhh... Beautiful, I never wanted you to compromise yourself or give up what you needed for me. I would have dealt with it. We, you and I, talked about this several times over the last few months. I have always said that you have been so focused on our needs and giving to us that you were neglecting your own. I never wanted that.
I may be over stepping boundaries here and if I am then I apologize. countrygirl, her husband and I have separated very recently, just to clarify that, countrygirl and her husband are still together. I am just not with them and they are no longer with me. It was not over this, but due to other matters entirely. I greatly admire them for the courage it took to end our relationship. I know it was not easy for them and I know that they, like myself, are hurting right now.
I admire countrygirl for the work she put into our relaitonship and for the personal growth she had during that time. It was not easy for her, but she dealt with it the only way she knows how, head on. She never backed down from anything.
Our relationship is and was the triad dreams are made of. We had what most search for their entire lives. I am blessed to have experienced it. I am blessed to have seen the love between countrygirl and her husband. Their love is the love you hear of in fairy tales that is almost never found in real life. I am blessed to have been loved just as deeply by them both. The love I felt for them and from them has set the benchmark for any and all future relationships I may have.
Our relationship was always based on a very deep strong friendship with a connection none of us can explain. That friendship still stands and will always stand. I have a feeling we will always need each other to draw strength and understanding from. We get each other when no one else does.
We have always said that together we can get through anything. Guess what, It's true. Together we CAN get through anything. Even this.