People have been quite polite and balanced in their responses. NYCindie, I think, i'm in love with you. Your responses in this thread are just about perfect - direct without being harsh.
Gwendolenthefair, you are not listening. The chorus is all singing harmony and you're belting out gangsta rap. So, I'm feeling the need to be slighlty less tactful - Pull your head out of your butt. Just pull it out, open your eyes and blink at the sun shining in your eyes.
You are not playing fair. I don't see how your position is tenable. Based on your responses, I don't trust how you're responding to the situation. So, how in the heck should your partner's wife trust you later about what other partners you might be seeing. Your behavior, attitude and approach would directly contribute to the lack of trust if she has even a whiff of it.
Think hard on it. You have choices. But, they shouldn't include undermining your partner's wife. They shouldn't include accepting or encouraging of breaking a boundary with her. If you can't play within the rules and be happy, then you need to leave the field before somebody gets hurt.
I get that this is hard for you and your boyfriend. But, you're refusing to see the broader perspective that others have so tactfully tried to point out to you. Stop, sit with your pain, and broaden your perspective.
Trying to get what you want at all costs usually ends bad. (I know this from experience, unfortunately)
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
Last edited by MindfulAgony; 01-14-2012 at 08:15 PM.