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Old 01-14-2012, 06:22 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Originally Posted by newguy View Post

1. Can a poly suppressed their feeling and desires forever and should they even try? NG
I believe anyone can control themselves with enough discipline, but I don't think they should put themselves in that situation. I don't believe a poly person can be truly fulfilled suppressing that part of them-self that needs to share love anymore than a mono person can be truly fulfilled not having love returned to them the same way they give it.

Sometimes exploring compromises can be worth it.

Originally Posted by newguy View Post
2. Am I wrong for denying her complete happiness knowing (or feeling) that it would destroy mine?NG
No more wrong than she is for possibly denying you complete happiness by sharing herself with others. There is no right or wrong in this.

Originally Posted by newguy View Post
3. (Most importantly) Should we get married knowing that I probably will never change my view on this matter?NG
Put in your situation, I wouldn't. I feel healthy in being a "secondary' relationship to the one Redpepper has with her husband. His marriage is what makes this work for me so well. As an internally monogamous person who also has some pretty traditional conditioning around marriage I don't think I could do it.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 01-14-2012 at 10:10 PM.
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