It's only been since the summer that you've gotten involved with your lover, which is really just a short amount of time. So I would say that is is very likely the euphoria of NRE you are experiencing right now. This is no time to be making big decisions. However, that is not to say there aren't also still issues in your marriage that need to be addressed. Perhaps counseling or therapy can help in that regard, especially if you are frustrated from expressing to your husband what you need and still feel that you are unacknowledged and your needs unmet.
Consider also the possibility that your relationship works very well for both you and your boyfriend specifically because you are partnered with other people. You and the bf do not have the concerns of a married couple with children, a household, shared finances, familial obligations. You can just relax and be yourselves with each other, likely in a setting free of such responsibilities. Of course it feels like freedom! If you both left your respective spouses and ran off together, I am sure things would be very different when you two start wrestling with divorces, custody or visitation, finances, expectations around jobs and housework, while setting up house and so on. But the grass is always greener...
Breathe, get your feet back on the ground, take baby steps in this relationship. Keep doing what you can to make your marriage work. Ask your husband to go with you to therapy, and keep communicating. It may be necessary for you both to pull back a little bit on the frequency of interactions with your OSOs, so that you can get your marriage grounded and strong again.
Last edited by nycindie; 01-14-2012 at 05:15 PM.