Have you and your husband tried marriage counseling? Is there any chance that this -- you potentially leaving -- could be the wake-up call he needs to start trying to meet your needs, or is he just incapable of it?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.