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Old 01-14-2012, 04:26 PM
Carrie Carrie is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 10

And if you're looking for a "filler" boyfriend to occupy your time when your affairing boyfriend is unavailable, don't you think that's a bit...unfair? I mean what you're doing is giving this secondary boyfriend a job which may be at times rather upsetting to him because he may want to be with you, but he can't because you're automatically taking time with your first boyfriend...who is having an affair with his wife with you. It's enough to make anyone feel like their time is being objectified.
Well, yes, vermin. It would be unfair, if another "boyfriend" wanted more than I'm giving him. As it is, one of the "others" is married and cannot actually give me much, either. So far, no one seems to want more, and I don't want that much, either. Actually, I think I may be bipolar, too, which has a lot to do with extra-sexullar dalliances, I think.

Don't want to sound all condescending, but isn't it a bit early to start talking about ordinal numbers for husbands and wives if you remain married to other people?

What is keeping you married, anyway?
Yes, BU..there is that. We have been "together" for going on 3 years and it's been really nice to be this open with each other - if not with the others.

As to why I'm still married, I suppose on one hand it keeps a backup in place, which is very selfish, I know. Except H hasn't been in any hurry to divorce, either. On my part, I don't want to spend the money to file...and nothing would really change, except the ability to marry someone else. His payments to me and our child would not change, unless I were to marry. And I can't marry BF...because he's married.

I wish we could be open with our spouses, and I wish polygamy, in all it's forms was legal. But it's not, and our spouses would use the relationship against us at this point. It took me a long time to come around to accepting my bf's bisexuality, let alone the poly thing. I imagine it would take the spouses even longer.

As to why BF is still married - he has several physical impairments and has had to train for a new career. If he leaves now, it won't do anyone any good, including their children. I think his wife actually does know (BF said he's told her,) but chooses to ignore my existence - and BF doesn't flaunt it in her face.

Yes, it's all very confusing, I suppose, which is why I'm not sure if I belong here - only because I'm not sure if our relationship(s) now and our "relationships" to be qualify as polyamory. Because all parties do not know about all other parties.

'Tis a problem I want to rectify. We don't want anyone to be hurt, if possible, but it may be too late for that.
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