I agree with nycindie, particularly about the part of you being all fine with him violating their agreement with you. That's so uncool.
If you can't be sympathetic towards her, have you thought about what kind of position you are putting your boyfriend in? He has agreed on boundaries with his wife. They may not be 100% what he would prefer, but relationships sometimes require compromise, and relationships definitely require patience and respect. He is giving time, which is the loving thing to do from him. The loving thing from you would be to let him do that without adding pressure on him by focusing on all of "her boundaries" that stop you from having all you want.
Living with my partner Mya
and metamour Hank. Seeing Lily.