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Old 01-14-2012, 10:39 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by KindaPOd View Post
Counseling did discuss cheating. She said that she didn't do it. I was split 50/50 on the issue. Can't prove it, can't deny it. Only thing left to do was accept that you can't always know everything.
This line of reasoning is fundamentally flawed.

Trust is the cornerstone of a good marriage, or any relationship really. If you're looking for proof, that means you don't trust her.

I found condoms in my husband's glove box. We don't use condoms. I asked him what they were for. He said sometimes he gets bored in the car (he works out of town, drives long hours) and uses them to masturbate. I believe him.

Now that right there is what a judge and jury would call evidence. But if I can't trust my husband not to lie to me about having sex with another woman, then we really don't have any foundation to work from for anything else in our marriage.

I have never caught him in any lie, ever. So I have this question for you: Do you know your wife to be a regular liar? Or is this the only thing that you don't trust her on?

If she doesn't typically lie to you, it might be worthwhile to introspect on why you doubt her now. It could be a manifestation of some other insecurity you have either in the relationship or in yourself. Getting to the root of that might do wonders for your marriage in general.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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