I don't think citing religious law shows that followers of a particular faith should not be loving - punishment for religious crimes (which is what is referred to in all of those verses) is not the purpose of the text or of the religion. Consequences for various actions are a part of every religion, but that doesn't mean that the only thing people should learn from it is to avoid those actions so that they don't get punished.
Here are a few POSITIVE things to think about when you think of the Bible and marriage (even with men holding the power):
Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
-My take- Husbands are to love their wives and treat them with the same type love and respect that Christ has given the church (CHRIST, not God, so vindictive/angry/actions meant to punish from the Old Testament are not an argument against this). A man should treat his wife as well as he treats himself. Granted, this is a New Testament verse which means that by this time "Christians" (not Jews - although Christianity is merely a sect of Judaism - but that is a whole other thing) should be focused on the expanded teachings that include the behaviors as Christ as an example. Christ had great respect for women and pushed the boundaries of society by teaching them and treating them as equals to men in many cases.
I Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
-My take- Love (which is what a man should have for his wife) is good and causes the person feeling it to treat the recipient with these good qualities.
Proverbs 31:28-31 (NIV)
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
-My take-A good wife who fears the Lord (it's a religious text, you have to expect the religious caveat) should be honored and praised for her goodness. I made sure to include an Old Testament verse to show that even before Jesus there were instructions and encouragement to treat spouses with caring.
As for the marriage being between a man and a woman, I heard a podcast the other day that went through all of the verses people normally cite in anti-gay marriage campaigns and showed how they could be interpreted to SUPPORT gay marriage claims. I will ask my brother in law to get me the info on it so I can share who it was that was speaking.
I understand it is all about interpretation, but why is everyone always so quick to interpret things in a negative light?