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Old 11-13-2009, 11:17 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Check out the communication

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=255

It has some great suggestions for that.

Personally-I think the biggest key is SLOW DOWN.

As our communication counselor says (ALL THE TIME)
CONNECT then correct.

1.You have to LISTEN actively-
2.Repeat back (in your own words) as a summary to be sure you understood.
3. Explain why YOU DO accept and understand it and how you think it might make them FEEL.
4. THEN you get to say one thing-they listen and do the above three steps.

(laid this out in detail in hte communication thread)

It sounds obnoxious at first-and it takes TIME to do it.
It's not a "FAST" process.
BUT it does work-and it works well.
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