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Old 11-13-2009, 10:15 PM
windmarkbob windmarkbob is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 19
Default New w/new feelings...HELP.

My wife has always been interested in a group marriage arrangement, always telling me that loving more than one person was not just do-able, but easy and understandable. Yeah, great from an intellectual standpoint, but from a practical one, sure, I'll concede it's possible, but not for me, I'm too jealous, possessive, and didn't know how she could love someone in addition to me unless I had failed or she felt like she was missing something I couldn't give, regardless of my approval of the concept on an intellectual level (thank you R.A.H. - Grok?).

Next comes the sledgehammer to my forehead. I fell in love with a close friend of mine just by going out and shooting pool and talking over the course of several months. I've really been in an extremely close, yet non-romantic relationship with her and her husband for a couple of years, but now things are somewhat strained, especially since his wife and I both admitted that we are in love with each other.

Her husband is a lot like my wife in seeing a compound marriage as a "good" thing and an ideal that would be nice, but he's accepting our new relationship, and my wife's accepting it as well, and so far so good on this road to one big happy family unit with 4 strong personalities and 2 major alphas, her husband and me. Biggest problem now...we've started calling them "pricklies". The things that are shared, the sweet nothings, the more intimate moments, and not just the bedroom ones (which haven't happened yet), that can cause pangs of jealousy, possible misunderstandings because of an inability to communicate as well as maybe we should be able to. Especially since we all are and all have been happily married for a long time (them for 10 years, and me and my wife for 22 years).

How do you deal with the "pricklies" and how do you deal with the inevitable power struggles that will sooner or later end in an impasse???

Thanks,

Bob

Last edited by windmarkbob; 11-13-2009 at 10:44 PM. Reason: clarification
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