Just an opinion, but the bible itself has very little influence on the beliefs of many "Christians". They mostly just believe what is acceptable according to what their preacher/other people at church/their politician of choice says. In summary, religion, even the most peaceful, well-meaning religions, have been used by those in authority to brainwash people into following a paradigm they think would be useful to them. Giving the head of household power over the family was just a convenient interpretation.
That being said, the bible is a wonderful book, and, if people actually read it and interpretted it for themselves, Christianity would look a lot different. I'm glad that your church preaches love instead of hate.
What is the first rule? "Love God" (which, according to I Corinthians, God IS Love) what is the second rule? "Love thy neighbor".