View Single Post
  #14  
Old 01-13-2012, 07:40 AM
NovemberRain's Avatar
NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 696
Default

Thanks Gray (I saw someone called you TGIG, I like that).

I told another girlfriend tonight. Her hubs is out of town, and she had to be very brave and do something very emotional tonight, so Current bf and I went to 'hold her hand.' Then we got her some fro-yo and thai food (I never have to be asked twice for thai food). Back at her place, he went upstairs and I said 'we need to have a girl lunch sometime' 'WHAT?!?' It took three whats, but I finally whispered 'I have two boyfriends' 'Really?' So that was kinda fun. Then I told her who the other guy was and she was totally unsurprised. Looking very much forward to girl-lunch.

I've told my chiropractor, one of my staff (who is also my friend ~ I was a peer before I was a manager, and I know she's very open to alternative many-things), three of my parents (all I have left), two cousins...hmmm, it seemed like more than that, oh yah, my massage therapist and my teacher. And I did tell one work friend (peer) today about my new (First bf) but I neglected to tell her I'm still seeing Current bf. Looking forward to lunch with her too.

I'm happy that I have the sort of life that's full of people I'm okay with sharing this with. I'm happy that they're quality and even if it's shocking to them, they'll handle it and not try to make me feel badly.

I developed a distaste for being closeted when I lived mostly as a lesbian. I am excessively lazy and it's very easy to pass, especially when one is bisexual. So, in my twenties, I was mostly in lesbian community. I didn't feel the need to lie; but neither did I shout my proclivities. (mama always said, 'I don't care what folks do, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.')

When I first started 'hanging' in gay community, it was part of a political campaign (back in '78, in California, it was 'No On 6' ~ it would have banned queerfolk from working in California schools). Everyone I met assumed I was gay, and that was a very odd experience. Not entirely unpleasant, but odd. I thought I could like girls, and had had crushes, but zero experience. But in getting to know folks, everyone told their coming out stories. I took to heart all the horror stories of parents reacting badly. I knew my parents very well, and I certainly knew them well enough to be pretty sure they wouldn't care. But I worked it all up in my head and it was very difficult to tell them. My dad & step-mom spent about half an hour trying to find gentle ways to say 'so what?' Can't remember what my mom said, so it couldn't have been overly traumatic. I do remember her once saying to me, 'you can't meet a nice man in a gay bar' My reply? 'I don't go to gay bars to meet nice *men* mom.' *duh* <- I may have said that out loud too. I also remember, vividly, going to the gay parade with my first girlfriend, and how stunning it was to hold her hand in public and kiss her in the sunshine. So much so that it still feels like an exceedingly special and wonderful treat to kiss anyone in the sunshine.

Those things contributed to my distaste for 'passing' with the norm. Oh, also my invisible disability. I get to balance that with laziness. I come out with lots of people to tell and be 'out' with; and some people with whom I don't feel I can.
__________________
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
Reply With Quote