Sorry, I didn't actually answer the core question you had.
BTW, I'm the "Mono" TGIB was referring to, so I was hoping to come at your question from the other side of the relationship.
Originally Posted by Atri
I guess the core question is really: what role does a 3rd play in supporting the other relationship/to what extent? oh, and if anyone has triad success stories, please, do share!
I hope that wasn't too wordy....
I think there is a difference between being considerate of other relationships and supporting other relationships.
I think a third person can definitely support a relationship, but the support has to be applied wisely or it can throw a relationship off balance. I asked about your relationship to the BF before because I think you need to have some sort of friendship or other connection to the BF before you can support their relationship, otherwise you would just be supporting from one end, and I doubt that would work very well.
However, if there just isn't much of a relationship between you and the BF for some reason, you can concentrate on your relationship with your GF and be considerate of her relationship with her BF. Suggest date nights. Check to see if she and her BF have plans before making plans for the two of you. Draw up a schedule, or write it on a calendar where all three can see it, something like that.