Good points, SG. I think it's very important to make the distinction that you can call out behaviors as "abusive behaviors" without labeling a person an "abusive person". But the word itself may be inflammatory, and making someone feel insulted/defensive is rarely a good way to generate productive dialogue, except inasmuch as it gets attention.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.