Originally Posted by Atri
Why do some mono guys see no threat in their female partner dating another woman as well?
Well, from what Phy's men were saying, it goes towards the two of them being told and recognizing that they both bring something new to the table. My fiance can't yet look at the poly lifestyle beyond the sex (swinging) and therefore, he and another man are bringing the exact same thing to the table (the sausage).. then I think he goes to thinking, what if that guy has a bigger sausage and so I like him better? Not realizing that bigger is different.. not better or worse.. just different.
So (honey, if and when u read this, here it is).. My fiance is bigger than my ex-husband. My ex was at the perfect size to reach some spot in me that would make my entire body quiver and put tears in my eyes. My fiance glides right by that magical spot. My fiance has found a way to add some pillows and positions me in a way that makes my head spin and almost ready to claim that it happened (insider). Another larger man might glide right past that spot. So, I believe there's nothing to fear.
Does that bring it all back to a simple masculinity issue again? Goodness....
I don't know how he feels about the ability to have actual feelings for another person, while at the same time loving him fully and completely. I think, at this time, his focus is on sex. In that way, if it was a female, he feels turned on and not threatened.. and possibly not realizing that if I did explore that side, it doesn't mean that she would be comfortable inviting him into the bedroom scene, even for viewing pleasure.
So.. in a follow up question: What is the real issue? Sex or intimacy? And why would things with a woman be different? It's still someone else that you're sharing your love's affection with.