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Old 01-12-2012, 07:27 PM
awakeandready awakeandready is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
If you think it would hurt to lose T&S now, imagine how much worse it would be if you'd gotten to the point where you had all decided to let love blossom, they had become a vital party of your heart... and THEN R freaked and unilaterally pulled the plug. It's one thing to lose a relationship because it just doesn't work out, you can get some closure there, but there's no closure to be had when a healthy relationship is veto'ed.
Oh my gosh, that's true. I think you just got to the heart of what I've been so scared of. That L word is scary and not the way I would describe it. But the longer this goes on the deeper that emotional connection keeps getting and the harder it would be to have it suddenly severed. After just 7 months, these are already some of the closest friends I think I have ever had.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
That is not to say you should dump T&S to protect yourself or "for their own good", far from it! I don't believe in dismissing a good thing out of fear when there's a chance to work things out. But I do think things should maybe cool off a little for now, maybe focus more on the friendship side. Be honest with them that you're having some relationship issues that you're working on, and that it's not their faults at all and you both care for them... hopefully if they're good friends they'll respect you for that and be patient!
I like reading that. It tells me there is hope and maybe a way to proceed and not lose everything.

This is all such horrible timing. We have a condo booked and a 2-day mini vacation planned with them next week, that we've all been looking forward to for a couple of months. I'm not quite sure how to deal with that yet.

Here is how I think I'm going to proceed. When R is done with work tonight I'll sit down with him and have him read this thread. I have tears streaming down my face every time I read a new comment and I imagine it will be equally hard for him to read--probably more so. But I still think he needs to see it. Hopefully he'll be able to at least listen to the advice you are all giving us even if he can't accept it yet. There are some counselors within driving distance on the lists you gave me. I'm going to call a few and find out more about them. I think I'll make an appointment that I'll keep with or without R. I'm pretty sure he'll agree to go with me, but even if he doesn't I think I need some outside help and support to get through this.

Last edited by awakeandready; 01-13-2012 at 03:52 AM. Reason: emphasis
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