After a bit of thinking and reading marksbabygirl's thread "Love you but," I've come to the conclusion that lust is not the main thing driving my feelings for Madscientist. I am not denying that is a part, but it is a very small part. He is lonely and hurting, it shows and I would love nothing more than to make him feel better.
He is funny and brilliant; I enjoy spending time with him and would love to spend more time with him. I would love to be closer to him but if that's not a possibility, I don't want to be jealous/hate someone who does make him happy.
I want/need to be able to accept things as they are.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.