Originally Posted by awakeandready
Yes, he has an anger management problem. Yes, this whole swinging/friends-with-benefits relationship with T&S has brought those problems to the forefront. Yes we have to deal with them. Yes I am hurting and hurting badly over this. But R is not an abusive husband.
Sorry to say this, but: It isn't the frequency that makes a deed abusive. It's the nature of the act itself. He may be really nice most of the time, but you are already tiptoeing the moment you get the right signals from him. You know that there is a pattern, you are able to read the signals when his buttons are pushed and are instantly afraid of him exploding again. There is already an established pattern between you two in that regard.
I can't accept this as healthy and a minor problem.
While giving credit to him acknowledging the problem, as long as he doesn't really start working on solving this, nothing changes.
Hoping that you are able to start the processing soon and successfully. and that you will be able to stay strong and healthy during that process.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.