Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
Of course it's important to gauge S and T's feelings as well. Are they interested in putting in the work to turn this from swinging into poly?
Just to be clear, we have not discussed this as a quad and have never used the term poly. Poly is a scary word! And I say that with the greatest respect for all of you who are living such authentic lives and calling it what it is. R & I have
used the poly word in our own talks. We have long, deep discussion about what is going on and when we were having trouble trying to figure it out we did some research and reading about poly relationships. But we still shy away from the word in labeling what is going on with us.
You have to remember that we came at this with a swinger mindset. I think this friendship that has developed has taken us all off guard. Not the friendship necessarily, because we all wanted that and a deeper connection than just sex. It's the emotional attachment that came with the friendship that was surprising. We are currently at the point where if you were to ask any of us separately, we would probably describe it as "friends with benefits." Very, very close
friends with benefits. Beyond that I don't know if any of us are ready to put labels on it.
But I came to all of you for advice because I thought you might have a better understanding of the relationship dynamics going on...regardless of what we call it.