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Old 01-12-2012, 11:03 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Leeds, UK
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Originally Posted by PolyKat View Post
I was brought up in this mono culture as most of us probably were, so I simply thought we were all poly-minded but living with society's stringent rules. I am just now, at the age of 30, realizing that people don't think the way that I think and that there's actually a word for me (polyamourous). So, with that, I realize that my fiance's issues may be more than a masculinity thing.

I also wonder how each man got past their issues, beyond the, "I love her so I learned to [insert life lesson here]." What was the initial disgust about? Where did that feeling come from? Why does the thought of such things hurt? What made it hurt less? What realizations did you have to come to? How did the two of you communicate and work through things? How long did it take (understanding that each person is different)?

Do I hope that one day my man can move past his hang-ups? Of course. Do I expect it to happen in a day, month, year, ever? No, we'll just let things naturally work themselves out. I'm going to love, cherish, and be with him regardless.
I've had those feelings before myself. Even though mono never made sense to me and have always been poly at heart. I was just brought up around mono culture. My mother is weirded out by the fact my sister is bi, never mind bringing poly up. =P

So my answer would be, I was just brought up to believe what indie says. That women were like property I guess? Though I can't say I ever felt that. I "got past it" by just learning about who -I- was. I'm big on freedom and everyone having it. I never worked with a partner or anything to fix that. It was a literal wake up one day and realised I needed to be myself. Some people go their whole lives not figuring themselves out. There's a lot to learn. I bet I'll be finding things out about myself for a long time too. =]
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