I remain completely obsessed with this forum. Srsly, ppl, I'm losing sleep.
I want to write and talk myself out of it by saying I have nothing interesting to say. I also fear the day my men may show up here to read these things. I think I need to add a wee bit of radical honesty into my radical self-love.
I had an absolutely fantastic weekend. Started with a session with my teacher. She had my file and pointed out that my first session was 10 years ago. I got to see her in person, and we had lunch first (a completely amazing salad, with blood orange vinegar being the ingredient I've never seen before). She yelled at me for being in relationship with two people not loving me full-out. She's known me longer than both of them have. AND she loves me completely and knows I'm doing what I'm doing.
Then a big family dinner. I was able to share with most of them my newfound love for both my men. Not at the dinner table (public restaurant) but privately, with most of them. I thanked them profusely for being the sort of people I felt comfortable to share this with. My step-dad's girlfriend is a true southern woman, she made extra effort to say something positive to me in the car on the way home. So sweet.
Then on to First bf's apartment. Got a big hug and a little kiss as I arrived, and he said 'how's me girl then?' With his arms wrapped around me, I assured him, 'better now!' I confessed to being afraid that it had been the vodka talking before.
He keeps much later hours than most of the world, and I was soooooooooo tired. He finally allowed as how we should turn in, and then proceeded to keep me awake for quite a while. Sunday we watched football and lazed around. Monday morning, I could tell he was done, but the sun was shining and I very much wanted to be out. So, I cheerfully packed up and got on the road. I pointed out I could tell he'd had enough. I think I said, 'I can tell you're done with me.' and he had the decency to look mildly distressed. 'FOR NOW. There's more. You know where I live. I can come back.'
Just too adorable all over.
I was so overcome with love for the whole freaking world on my way home. Especially Current bf for giving me this.
I'm trying not to think about the fact that they haven't talked to each other since before this all started. At least, I think they haven't. How would I know?
I did mention to First bf that I am a little freaked out about the first time we're all together again. (just like I was when I had broken up with him and started dating Current bf. ~ it was fine, but I'm anxious just the same)
Regarding the DADT policy ~ I'm beginning to think that Current bf may prefer it also. I mentioned First bf a few times tonight and he discussed what was at hand, but seemed careful not to ask about the weekend.
Had a very sweet dinner date with Current bf tonight.
I am a much happier camper than I was three months ago.