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Old 01-12-2012, 06:55 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I have four relationships. They vary in the amount of time I spend with each person. We negotiated time down to the two that I live with being the central amount of time and in a balance; one partner I spend social time with and occasionally go out with separately and the other I see once a month to six weeks. They all know this is all I have and if they need more then they have to look for other loves to fill the gap and not put it on me. I only have so much to give.

While I wish time were infinite, it isn't. I love spending time with all of them and it is occasionally frustrating, but that is how it is in poly so we are satisfied with what we have, get frustrated some times and keep at it until its done. Really, if you expect more then I would be looking for someone who wants less partners or someone that is monogamous... even that isn't a guarantee of more time together though. Its all in the negotiations I think.

I would be more worried about how much time he spends with his primary; himself. This is where I was neglectful. I am working on turning that around now as after 3-4 years it became evident that I was resentful and unpleasant to be around as a result of self neglect.
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