Originally Posted by Bells
...I have yet to meet that person that I can take along to normal bring to SO occasions.
Somewhat related to my earlier post: partnering up with a man who already has three serious connections going on for him means you lose out on many of the traditional benefits of partnerships, such as social recognition, legal perks and shared economics. It doens't have to be like that but it most likely will be. There will be occasions when one of his other SOs has an office party on the same night your friends from out-of-town are visiting and would like to meet him. Or times when you are having tough time at work and would like to talk to him, but another SO has just lost a relative and is in dire need of consolation. If you decide to pursue this, make sure your own support networks, your own life and interests are wide and active, because regardless if you find someone to be in more of a primary situation with you or not, you will not have as much of him as someone dating monogamously would.