Originally Posted by Tesla
But knowing how uncomfortable I still am with the situation why go ahead and do something that it's clear I'm not going to be okay with at this point? It seems selfish to me and like it disregards my feelings and what I am comfortable with right now. It's somewhat provoking, is it not?
I am making an effort to transition our relationship into something that he will be more comfortable with, while he's running out to cuddle with people all night, knowing I am home alone, upset and ignorant of what's happening at this party.
Listen, this whole party thing didn't even make me mad, we didn't fight or anything about it. It made me upset, mostly because I felt like he was putting me and my feelings aside in favor of his own pleasure before he knew I was ready to be okay with him cuddling, kissing, etc. with other women. Kind of just felt like, okay whatever, this is what I want to do and I don't care that you're most likely not okay with it.
That's understandable. My husband is uncomfortable with my being with guys, so I've agreed not to be with any guys until he's ready. In the meantime, he has some things he needs to deal with regarding himself, and that won't just benefit a poly situation, but it will greatly increase his quality of life, as will your working on your insecurities increase your quality of life. When your quality of life is better, your relationships actually reflect that.