"In the beginning did it start with you dating both. Or was one added years later... How did that effect the time and attention split ...who paid the cost?...equally shared? "
I was initially only in a relationship with my husband. Then I started dating my bf later on. I had to work hard to create a schedule for both men. I feel that everybody in the relationship paid a cost.
"Would you like more time and attention from your husband or a greater place in his heart? "
"Do you think he's being a vindictive prick ? Is he capable of such behavior? "
I don't think that he is doing this out of vengeance. He's never done anything out of revenge in his life. I think that he is deeply hurt.
There is a possibility that my bf is abusive so I may not be the best judge of character.
"In the beginning was it easy or difficult to negotiate the boundaries of this dynamic with him. Was there any trouble with violations of said boundaries? "
We found is easy. The only trouble that we received was from his belief that I cheated on him.