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Old 01-11-2012, 03:12 PM
Tesla Tesla is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 23

Originally Posted by bookbug View Post
You said this gal is an ex-girlfriend, right? If that's the case, while he may still want to be involved her, THERE IS A REASON SHE IS THE EX, and you are the one he is living with. True, you will never be her; but likewise she will never be you.
This helped. It's incredibly easy to forget something as simple as that when you're so busy tearing yourself down.

Originally Posted by bookbug View Post
A lot of times poor self-esteem has to do with the messages we recite in our heads everyday and have no basis in reality. And the more you recite them, the more you believe them. Just like anything you practice, you get better at it, and in this case, you've become an expert at believing you don't measure up. While I know it sounds like a lot of psychological B.S., something that actually works is to make a list of things you're good at, things that you like about yourself, and recite them to yourself instead of the negative self-talk. The negative self-talk is a lie that you've just practiced too many times. Practice the good stuff.
I've actually heard this quite a few times before (and always immediately thought, what bs!), but after I read your post I decided to give it a go and started my own lists. It's amazing how much my psyche was fighting back. For every thing I wrote that I like it asked, "but what do you hate?" And, "is that *really* something worth liking about yourself? Really?" For every thing I'm good at it countered with, "you're not really that good at it. And you know what you're really bad at? This:_________ and this __________ and this _______." Yikes!

Once I started getting into the lists and was in the habit of telling that bitch in my head to shut up, I started feeling much better about myself and much more calm. So, thank you.
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