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Old 01-11-2012, 04:29 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

I don't have time for the full Davis update, but I wanted to share this tidbit. I was perplexed that he didn't seem to want me to come to this particular out of town event that he and Jay are going to go to next month. I began to get a little offended and asked why he wouldn't want me there. His halting response:

"Well, ok, so... this is going to sound bad, but, it's like Jay is um... like, my version of Gia? Argh. [speaking faster] It's just we usually spend time together at my house and other people are usually around so we don't get to...have... err, couple time......"

It was clear from his tone that he was waiting for me to start mocking him. I guess he didn't realize that when I call Jay his boyfriend I'm not trying to make fun of him even if I'm teasing a little... I'm acknowledging in a playful way how important this person is in his life. I cleared that up and we talked a little about the idea of non-sexual, non-romantic partners who are nevertheless more than friends. Like Jay and Silent Bob in the Kevin Smith movies being "hetero lifemates."

So, it's official. Jay is his secondary partner. He even agreed with me on the usage of that term to describe it. Though I doubt he'd ever say it to Jay quite like that... And yes, yes, I know there's already a term for that, "best friends." But let me have this.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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