Today is my dad's birthday; he would have been fourty nine today. He died a couple of days after his 40th. Some years his birthday and the anniversary of his death come and go without notice. This is not one of those years.
In addition to that, I decided I was tired of my feelings for Madscientist driving me crazy, so I told him. I did not tell him in the hopes of something coming from it, I honestly don't know if that's what I would want, but I was just tired of it hanging over my head. I told him I didn't want to hang out for awhile so I could try and deal with the feelings.
After that we sat around talking about our very different forms of communication and how he didn't agree with societal conventions but was having trouble working around them. Like most of the conversations between the two of us it was enjoyable and confusing at the same time. So I feel relieved that it's off my chest but I don't know.