Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I don't see it as a matter of insecurity, I see it as a matter of avoiding a situation that might bring all of my sad feelings about my physical separation from my partners to a painful boil. So, envy, yes. But insecurity would be being afraid of being left out and this isn't a matter of irrational fear... I AM being left out, completely, and have been for more than a year. It hadn't been easy, not at all, even though I've managed to be pretty sanguine about it lately.
I didn't mean by what I said that you
sounded insecure, but I wondered if someone else you know who might be feeling a little insecure and emotionally shaky might have triggered you regarding this situation. It was just a hunch and I could be totally wrong.
I guess what surprises me is that I got the impression that you've been around them so much over the last year even while not being as involved with Gia as much as you were before, and I guess I assumed that you'd been nearby or in proximity while they were intimate -- and I thought you had come to a much more okay place about it all because she has made some attempts at rekindling what you had.
Sorry, didn't mean to stir up anything more about it, but it sounds like you're pretty clear about how you feel and what's going on with you. I think asking for a boundary that you take Bee out so you don't have to hear them would be a good thing, if hearing them would make you cry (although crying when you're alone can be so healing).