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Old 01-10-2012, 04:36 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,194

Welcome to this forum and our little online community. I think you should read around the forum and see what topics seem relevant and interesting to you.

It is natural and normal to be attracted to numerous people, as your wife told you, and yes even if you are partnered. That isn't a poly thing, it's just a human thing. There are things like pheromones and hormones and all sorts of chemicals at work, besides different levels of attraction - attraction isn't always sexual. Ever just pass someone on the sidewalk and get the feeling they'd be someone you could befriend? Or see an elderly person and adore them instantly like they were your grandparent? I have. And so when it comes to flirting with waitresses and having that sexual component to attraction, well, that's just as natural, because human beings are social animals and we always seek connection.

So... also, there really isn't any specific poly way of life or "lifestyle" -- it is what you make of it. Polyamory fits into a myriad number of differing lifestyles. I think it's a lot simpler than people believe. There's no protocol to get started, it's just being open to loving more than one person and seeing what happens. It's not about sex, though of course that's an important part, but you don't have to have sex with someone to have a loving relationship with them. If you hit it off with someone and your spouse consents, just take it slowly and see what happens. As long as everyone makes an effort to be honest and communicate, you're off to a good start.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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