View Single Post
  #4  
Old 01-09-2012, 10:39 PM
kirsten kirsten is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 22
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Initial thoughts: if you are feeling more of a connection with Drew instead of Aurora, you need to be upfront about it.
This is really good advice. My problem right now is that I haven't seen Aurora in many months and it's a bit hard to assess how I feel about her because of that. We have discussed the possibility that those feelings won't still be there for me, which was a pretty heart-wrenching conversation but it was really good to have. It prepared her for that possibility and prepared me to be open and honest about how I'm feeling.

So right now I feel like I need to spend time with her and figure out what is going on for me. I'm visiting them in less than a week so stay tuned!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Triads are rife with disappointment and frustration exactly because people expect everyone to love and like each other equally.
I haven't felt that there is that expectation of equality. Aurora has said on multiple occasions that we need to allow each relationship to grow naturally, in its own direction. When Drew and I were just starting our relationship, she was understanding that sometimes I'd need to spend more time talking to him than to her. Drew has always been understanding of our need for girl time. So far, so good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Is it that you are feeling more of a friendship connection with Aurora and more of a lover connection with Drew?
At the moment, yes I think that would be fair to say. Aurora and I have awesome emotional intimacy, which I am realizing is really important to me. Drew and I, not so much, although I get glimpses here and there. Drew and I have crazy amounts of lust between us. Which isn't to say Aurora and I have zero, but we definitely have less at the moment.

However, when I was with Aurora in person, I felt this indescribable connection to her. I've never felt that way before. That is the number one reason that I have pursued this for this long, across this much distance. I just have to see where this is going.

The lust level between Aurora and I was definitely higher in person but we were sort of taking it slow. I realized in retrospect that we were moving faster in threesome situations than when it was just the two of us, and I want to avoid that this trip. I feel like we should develop that part of our relationship on our own, separately.

Comparing my feelings for Aurora to my feelings for Drew tends to be like comparing apples to oranges. What I get from each of them is so different. I know Aurora understands that, although I havenít really talked about it with Drew.

Thanks for your comments. And for bothering to read all of that!
Reply With Quote