Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Sounds insane to me, on their end. But I'm curious as to his response -- when he realized that this wasn't what you wanted, was he willing to do things differently, or do they feel she has to be there for some reason (insecurity on her part, need for a security blanket on his part??)?
I have known of people who show up on first dates with their partners. I really don't mind if somebody wants to show up with their partner on a first date, but I expect to be told of this ahead of time. Somebody just showing up without warning me, wouldn't be seeing me again.
Yes, what did he say? After one or two times of his wife being invited. I'd specifically say "Is your wife coming or is this a date" If he is told you don't consider it dating HIM if it's not just you and him, I would say "not interested in a dating if it's always in a group situation" and expect an answer right then and there.
If he said he didn't date one on one and that wasn't for me, I'd just tell him I was only interested in friendship then. He could decide if he wanted to pursue a relationship with me anyway, and then negotiate with his wife to come up with a different dynamic where they aren't joined at the hip.
Have you even broached the subject of if that means he expects his wife will show up in the bedroom if YOUR relationship gets to a sexual stage? That is something I'd really be concerned about bringing up ASAP. If you have zero interest in it he should know. If you don't have any desire to have nothing but FMF sex where he is the center of the universe, dating him doesn't seem to make any sense.
As to if any of the relationships were serious relationships and not just FWB, I'd say that was up to the individual involved. Some of them might have been content with that and did feel it fit their definition of that. It doesn't fit my personal criteria for a serious romantic relationship though.