This may sound out of tune
To start with, I am complete outsider to poly relationship. Yet, I have worked with people of different sources dealing with emotional issues.
After reading your post, I feel that your are quite smart to see benefits of a new approach to handle your situation and give you the emotional control that you are asking for.
I would say that your feelings are more so creating a barrier in your relationship with your bf. This statement is coming from the a background that can be comprehended by reading the book "Ask and It shall be given"(nothing about poly but applicable to emotional issues).
I would say if you could cool down a bit and allow the situation to show what is good for you (and him) in the long run, then you can get a clearer picture of what is happening in your absence (and not assuming) as you cannot be at more than one place at a time.
If you could imagine the situation you want instead of thinking about the situation as it is, then you will notice your relationship to take a direction that is beneficial to you both.
If you could speak to yourself within your silence, "Wouldn't it be nice if" and then speak in yourself about what situation you want, then over the days(weeks/months?) you would notice changes occurring and also be happy about it.
Something like .... "Wouldn't it be nice if he helps me handle this matter?".
Write similar statement in your personal pad or type and store in your personal computer.
Give a week or 2 or 3 for situation to shape-up. There seems to a lot of resistance that has to be smoothly dissolved. And you will be able to.
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