Sounds insane to me, on their end. But I'm curious as to his response -- when he realized that this wasn't what you wanted, was he willing to do things differently, or do they feel she has to be there for some reason (insecurity on her part, need for a security blanket on his part??)?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.