Originally Posted by Tesla
I really think it all boils down to my horrible self esteem. I compare myself to this girl all day every day and I see all the things about her that he loves and I just beat myself up over it.
I just keep thinking over and over, how could he want to be with me after he's with her? I mean, obviously he's going to leave me once he realizes how much more beautiful (inside and out) she is, how much better in bed she probably is, how much more "together" her life is. I could go on and on. I stick her on this pedestal as some kind of ideal and I know that I'll never be her.
You said this gal is an ex-girlfriend, right? If that's the case, while he may still want to be involved her, THERE IS A REASON SHE IS THE EX, and you are the one he is living with. True, you will never be her; but likewise she will never be you.
A lot of times poor self-esteem has to do with the messages we recite in our heads everyday and have no basis in reality. And the more you recite them, the more you believe them. Just like anything you practice, you get better at it, and in this case, you've become an expert at believing you don't measure up. While I know it sounds like a lot of psychological B.S., something that actually works is to make a list of things you're good at, things that you like about yourself, and recite them to yourself instead of the negative self-talk. The negative self-talk is a lie that you've just practiced too many times. Practice the good stuff.