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Old 11-13-2009, 03:53 AM
sunnydee sunnydee is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 44
Default Date poly first.

Originally Posted by beatbox151 View Post
Let me just take this moment to thank everyone for being so understanding and accepting about this. I appreciate all of the comments and I feel much better with you guys being a support group.

Honestly, I have always wanted more than one partner/lover/emotional friend, but I think I was just conditioned to think that it would never happen for me. Making it feel normal is probably one of the best things that has ever happened for me.....again thank you for your warm welcome. I will be a regular here, for sure.

I'm new to both dating and to being poly and I've been struggling with the "when to tell" thing. There's been kind of a steep learning curve, to tell the truth. I do think it's different for me as a woman, but, Beatbox, if at possible, you will find it considerably easier to start by dating a polygirl rather than approaching someone who will very likely not be cool with you being married.

Several times recently, I've dated mono men and I found them particularly difficult because they really didn't want to hear that I'm dating others, they sort of dismissively said yes, they were fine with me dating others or whatever, then, very quickly, changed their minds. It got stressful so I've taken a break from them for a while.

I think, though, that if you didn't tell a mono woman up front, she'd be pretty p*ssed if you're married. Single and dating others, you could probably get away with til the second date. But most mono women want relationships and they don't want to waste time with someone who really isn't available to them. Polygirl, Beatbox, give it a try. OKCupid can be a nice place to find polyfolk.
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