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Old 01-08-2012, 11:35 PM
mis mis is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Hi aigan,

Opalescent:
Thank you! I know very few poly/RA persons IRL, so I find these forums very interesting.

My perception of RA is based on the ideas that Andie describes really well: http://www.polyamory.org.uk/relationship_anarchy.html
But I am a bit unsure of my actual standpoint, I guess between this and a somewhat poly-relation view, because I do make a bit of hierarchy and there has mostly been a primary person in my life and a few other relations.

Regarding your question, it is mainly that his insecurity comes out of the idea of RA/poly, and thus I am feeling guilty and selfish by inflicting this on him. It is not that I actually "cheat".

Redpepper:
Yes, to put it simply I identify as polyamorous and he as monogamous.
I guess you're actually very right about the boundaries, I tend to see it as a restricting and negative thing but as you say, there are always bottom lines, and even in RA it is important to find out what that is, and then ofcourse even more so for his sake. I will really try to work with this.

Is there any communication guide or like a short list of some topics to discuss or such? It maybe sounds like a ridiculous thing, and of course the issues to discuss depend on the individuals, but it could be good to have some template or start, because I am not entirely sure where to start off.

Thank you both very much for your quick responses, advice and tips of further reading. Very appreciated!
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