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Old 01-08-2012, 08:10 PM
Kambicpl78's Avatar
Kambicpl78 Kambicpl78 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6

Well I am new here and although we both are researching how Poly can work but it's not that hard to see "cheating" plain and simple

Even as we are new to this, we knew as soon as the subject came up there NEEDED to be rules, set by all parties involved and followed by all parties. If your situation could work out as a Poly relationship that may be all best outcome for all involved. But at this point it sounds like each of you are following your own feelings, fulfilling your own needs without being 100% open with the other in the marriage and likewise hurt feelings are the result.

I know this may be weird coming from another "male" but I think "he" is the one who needs to work on your relationship/marriage. I believe it's common for many of us to have feelings for ex's since while being apart we tend to focus on the good times and not whatever reason they became ex's in the first place. From what you'd stated here he is overstepping whatever rules you have for your marriage, so you feel justified to also overstep.

I admit it's just a gut feeling, but it says it's unlikely there would be a Poly relationship between your husband and your ex unless you and he really really opens up to communicate... Then eventually bring your ex in to the talk and set up what the rules are so everyone feels at ease.

Overall it sounds like hubby just wants to play on the side, but he doesn't enjoy hurt feelings when you play on the side.
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