Originally Posted by KindaPOd
It's about as healthy as any other abusive relationship.
Wow, no. If it really is consensual D/s that's safe and sane, it can actually be very healthy and fruitful for all involved. I know you said this may not be the place for a debate on this, but it's one thing to be concerned that a D/s relationship is masking dysfunction and another to conflate any D/s with dysfunction, which is what it sounded to me like you were doing here (did I misunderstand?).
Consciously choosing a dynamic that you both enjoy and that makes you a happier and more fulfilled you is worlds away from one person abusing another. Is that something that makes any sense to you? If not are you really the best person to try to help this woman or will you just be seeing her relationship as abuse no matter what, which will probably put her on the defensive and keep her from hearing any good points you might make?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.